Today we heard a great sermon at Lake Avenue Church about the 5th Commandment: Honor your father and mother so that it may go well for you in the place where you are planted. One of the questions that we hear so often is, what happens when your parents have disappointed you and have been the cause of great pain in your life rather than being a blessing? And what happens does this imply obedience, as it appears in Ephesians where the Apostle Paul said, Little Children, obey your parents—and then he goes on to quote the 5th Commandment.
Pastor had some great insights, for instance, “honoring” takes on different shades of meaning as a person grows. For a small child it means obedience, for an adult it means living in such a way that brings honor and respect to the family, and when parents are old, it means caring for them in a respectful way. Furthermore, honoring your parents belongs to the “second” commandment—the first is to love the Lord with all your heart, the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. The first takes priority over the second, but when the first is adequately followed, the second is well fulfilled. So no parent can expect a child to obey against the character and nature of God.
Anyway, the sermon turned my thoughts and memories to my parents. My mother passed away six years ago next month and my dad a year and a half later. As I have been preparing the final drafts of my thesis, I have thought about the fact that without the encouragement, training and discipline from my parents, I would most likely not be here today. I seek to bring honor to them, even with them gone on to heaven, by the way that I live. They taught me well how to share (Mom and Dad adopted two children from Korea when I was 8 years old), they taught me how to work (Dad had a pharmacy that I worked at throughout my childhood years), they brought me to church and taught me how to love God, and they taught me how to live in community. My Dad and Mom were both involved in multiple organizations, and the neighbors knew that a cup of coffee was readily available when they knocked on the door.
The truly beautiful thing is that my great 8 children (including the ones that had the courage to marry into our family) challenge me to be the kind of parent that they can truly honor—and even more than that, to love.